Let’s be real, its me all me…
day and night fighting, deciding, taunting
my own mind into a frenzy…who am I?
Sexual only because of another’s sexuality
entering my innocence,
my imagination
my experimentation
my need…is it a need? Who am I?
And this God, I say I love
But I ignore consistently.
This life I want to live, that I fall short of
Daily
I think I should just give up…
The part of me that wants to play
is so much bigger than the one
that will kneel and pray
and say…
I am sorry, I am so strange
unlike real Christians it seems I can’t change.
That the evil in me just calls and haunts.
With images, and touches, and words
from my own lips…and smirks
from my quirks that slip
From memory into reality
© 2010, Caela Strong. All rights reserved.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
This is very powerful and is something that I’m sure most Christians can relate to. Although, the beginning would be different for us all. We still seek to please God in the middle of overwhelming temptation and failures.
i ‘liked’ this but i want to ‘like’ it more than once. really great expression that not everyone would want to talk about but i know we all feel.
What a POWERFUL intro to a powerful piece of literature… “Let’s be real…” n again “Who Am I?” Let’s be real… ‘GOD’ is not our problem nor is ‘Sin or The Devil’. As in ages past so it is today “… My people are destroyed because of their lack of knowledge” Hos. 4:6. The reality of the situation is that when self is not known its difficult, at best, to know God so the ancient exhortation is still valid today in our ‘information age’ which simply says “ Man Know Thy Self ”.
Truly a wonderful poem with alot of meat.