Heartache

…soft tones to describe the heart, the reason You are here inside of me I know you saved me and gave me the liberty I need to be me …thin strokes anchors love and hate – and in-between the flaw of never truly knowing what I know when I think I begin to know what [...]

(This poem was originally written in French. My French was not that great, but I think the French makes it more beautiful) Without you here, Without your kiss, Without your embrace… without  your tomorrows And all this pain because I am not happy without you. And I know it is not often that I do [...]

Now I can see I was made for you These tears that I cried,  I cried for you The mistakes I made, baby all for you. So lost, I was wrong trying to hold on to this love, sweet love – a life built for two. Deceptions and misconceptions to reach you, ‘cause I feel [...]

Mother, I cried for you curled up in a chair satiny-teared, you weren’t with me there hours alone, folded in fear – a second more I would have died I would’ve died waiting for you Liar, I cried for you as I roll slowly down with love I waited, as you hated from the door, [...]

Look at me…really look into my eyes Don’t you see me begging you to stop This disturbing rhythm pounding against me in certainty? Asking you to ward off the kisses that seemed to leave the after taste of some feverish passion? I know, uncharted territory coming from the queen of pseudo-controlled games, and still the [...]

I know I said all the wrong words I am sorry – I didn’t mean them, but you… You promised me love The God-type of love Not the love you have given me When I dream, I remember when you said that I come first. Was that what you meant by blaming me, condemning me, [...]

I arrest my thoughts to keep a steady pace To make the moment last To take in the same air you breathe – When you stand in this spot to get to the garage – or to talk to the neighbors the way you always do With that heightened sense of glee that tickles your [...]

I see him the same but I know he is not. His touch doesn’t burn like a fire dancing to taunt a naïve moth. His kiss doesn’t linger for me to taste the sweetness of a deeper caress I’ve longed to know. His eyes no longer call me to his sanctuary – nor to any [...]

When I dreamed this, I felt so fulfilled Like I could rest for the first time, The depth of me realized. My hero could see right Through the very heart of me Sheltering every part of me With words unspoken, materializing The very love I need. And then you came, and rousted This dream in [...]

Is it a thought in your mind? My smile, my hips – the feeling of my lips on your fingertips As you go on, move on Like the ways, we gazed in a haze never phased you If I had the choice again Would I have baited you, as you baited me. I don’t know… [...]

Never thought I’d see the day like this again – when I’d revert back to the hurt girl I was before – but here we go again having the same conversation and the same bitter tears to mark the emergence of this ‘me’ I didn’t know I could be – and never thought I would [...]

You captured me with the song of someone gone -        beyond my reach at a place I didn’t belong But where I would be, if you wanted me You instead came into my space, a place of security… Your apathy wooed me to come to your side Misunderstandings slayed me, and wounded my pride Your [...]

Tell me why? Why now Why me? Why destroy all the Beautiful that my eyes see? Why victimize my possessions Ignite my confessions into heightened lessons I fall short of again and again. Like Job I cry why – why me? Not the worst off, or the cursed off But still the lost Of love [...]

These hands were never made to hurt you This back, never made to turn on you… my eyes never meant to see someone new, These lips were to be faithful, not to be untrue… —— But I decided, in my mind. Took steps to break away And I am guided now to find, some way [...]

Are you real enough, to make me feel your warmth around me? – close enough for me to keep you from turning away? Can you rise above the distances that are far beyond what I can see? Are you, somehow, a reality or just a shadow of yesterday? I sit patiently, keeping hope that you [...]

True love was here, and I was standing still Awaiting the salvation, the security, the time But I was standing still, beneath the plane of his horizon So he could not see me – – and the lesser infatuations baited my warranted reward I shied into the darkness. My silence. My strength. ——————- The deceiver [...]

It’s dark in my heart I can tell with all these things in me – that’s really not  myself. I’m craving less of me, while wanting more of you. But selfishly pleasing myself because now, we’ve found there are lines I can’t cross to get to you. Now grace has no place for us Trust [...]

You sleep and I keep Outlining your face in my mind, the way my hands would run through your hair if I dared touch – oh no I’ve remembered too much! of your warmth, your soft and strong, your caress ~ I am wrong! Somewhat longing too long Trying to move past this phase of [...]

This heart that beats that loves and wants and grows beyond the boundaries of my being It reaches it out, but takes everything in It wants all and holds – so tightly So tightly. That the strength to grasp becomes its fragility And the power it takes To reach out Becomes timidity when the object [...]