Introspection

Let’s be real, its me all me… day and night fighting, deciding, taunting my own mind into a frenzy…who am I? Sexual only because of another’s sexuality entering my innocence, my imagination my experimentation my need…is it a need? Who am I? And this God, I say I love But I ignore consistently. This life [...]

When I dreamed this, I felt so fulfilled Like I could rest for the first time, The depth of me realized. My hero could see right Through the very heart of me Sheltering every part of me With words unspoken, materializing The very love I need. And then you came, and rousted This dream in [...]

Sight… I am here, far in the distance But your vision pulls me in Disclosed at your whim I am numb. Thought… I am here, in the center of your mind My name is Desired, Queen on this throne No choice of my own I am numb. Acquainted… I know your name, you’ve chosen to [...]

Is it a thought in your mind? My smile, my hips – the feeling of my lips on your fingertips As you go on, move on Like the ways, we gazed in a haze never phased you If I had the choice again Would I have baited you, as you baited me. I don’t know… [...]

Sit down beside me, settle down Close yourself off from these things all around Time is yours and right now it’s wasting I’ll get to it, if you’ll just be patient… I want to know if you can see me, feel me – really beyond everyone’s theories. We both know that I have a history [...]

Never thought I’d see the day like this again – when I’d revert back to the hurt girl I was before – but here we go again having the same conversation and the same bitter tears to mark the emergence of this ‘me’ I didn’t know I could be – and never thought I would [...]

Tell me why? Why now Why me? Why destroy all the Beautiful that my eyes see? Why victimize my possessions Ignite my confessions into heightened lessons I fall short of again and again. Like Job I cry why – why me? Not the worst off, or the cursed off But still the lost Of love [...]

It’s like I can’t pass the me I see to move into the realm of fulfilling destiny. Like I am my own worst enemy My own lock and key My own bars, cage jury – and judge that won’t set me free I try and stop. I wane and I falter back to the altar [...]

Are you real enough, to make me feel your warmth around me? – close enough for me to keep you from turning away? Can you rise above the distances that are far beyond what I can see? Are you, somehow, a reality or just a shadow of yesterday? I sit patiently, keeping hope that you [...]

I’m at the edge of the precipice and I want to fall off At this one moment, I don’t want to thrive, or feel at all. I just want to fade into nothing All those times, I was so afraid of the end So I stayed locked away and safe… but now I’m open and [...]

** Note: Today I was reminded of someone that was dear to me.  A ‘mentor’ or ‘father figure’ … well, let’s just say that didn’t work out in the long run, but here’s to memories of better days. ** Twenty-two years of searching, I’m weary Voices and touches so searing and near me I look [...]

I speak – my blood, my tears, my woes my cares unfold, the hurts I hold. ——— I write – I see! I breathe freely not sheepishly, my claims to me. ——— I speak – you bend, not comprehend the nights I spend. My home, my pen. ——— I write – shine bright, despite their [...]